Being Kind to Myself
Having a mind that is constantly telling me what it thinks can be so annoying. It judges whether it likes something, what it thinks I should do, or say. It tells me when I am right or when I am wrong. It’s like a compulsive nag. Why do I put up with it? Because it is who I think I am; even when I think my mind is crazy, I think I’m the crazy one. I think I have no separation from my mind. The truth is, it is only the mind thinking, not really who I am, but this compulsive urge is like a toddler running the show. And I have let it. That is until this discovery.
Understanding that we are not our minds is one of the first steps in being kind to ourselves. The mind has a compulsive conversation going on that thinks it needs to be addressed. Like a toddler, it can be self-centered and unaware. Most people live under the mind’s rule without considering that there are other choices because we have not been taught. For those of you who think you are what your mind thinks, this blog is for you.
Let’s start by understanding we HAVE a mind just like we have an arm or a leg. It’s just another body part. We do not consider that we are an arm or a leg, so why do we think we are the mind? We can watch it babble on and not react to it. Are we not actually then merely witnessing the nature of the mind? We do not have to take the mind seriously. We do not have to let the mind convince us that it knows everything and that we need to react to what it is telling us. We can sit in the seat of awareness and rest in that place while the mind slowly realizes that we are not reacting or choosing to partake in any of the nonsense. We can consider this being kind to our self.
I urge you to try what Michael A. Singer mentioned in his book ‘The Untethered Soul’. He says the next time your mind is telling you something, stop and ask, “Who is this speaking in my mind?” See what happens when you do this. Many people I have asked to do this say that there is a mystical quiet that happens, the chatter stops, there is a gap of silence, as if someone went out of the room to go get the speaker and didn’t come back
Curiously, I began working with this simple teaching and understood that I can be kind to myself by not believing I am my mind. I am merely witnessing all those thoughts, they are not who I am. In these moments of reflection, I am relieved to know I am not my mind. It brings a sense of compassion in my being that I had never given myself before. I can love the little toddler of my mind without reacting to it and this is how I can forgive my thoughts, let them happen but stay in a neutral position of control over them. This is one way to be kind to oneself, or others for that matter, that people may not think of.
So, I urge you to try being kind to yourself by using this technique and watch how it unfolds in changing that little toddler in your mind. If you notice as I have, that it IS a kind thing to do for our self each day, please share it with others. Let’s grow together as a family of supported love, now, by knowing how to be kind to ourselves, we can also be kind to others, especially those who still believe they are their minds.